I had just drained my third beer when the guy sitting next to me was shaking his head. “I don’t know how he does it.”
“Who?”
He nodded across the bar. “Him.”
There was this gorgeous girl across the bar from us. Cropped dirty blonde hair. Nice curves annunciated by perfectly fitting jeans that fell at her hips left just a bit of a perfectly pear-shaped stomach and a pierced belly button. She filled out her tank top nicely. She moved and talked like someone who was used to be watched; like someone who needed to be watched. She would have been beautful it wasn’t for her face. Hers was the kind of face that was probably pretty once – gorgeous – but had attracted the wrong kind of attention. You see those girls all time – hard bodies with faces like old leather. Too much tanning booth. Too much booze. Too much hard living.
I’d seen her there before. She usually hung out with the good ol’ boys and the waitresses; she could’ve worked there if she kept her hair longer. (The owner, Adelle, had this idea that long hair and ample cleavage equated to more money. It didn’t really bear out, since most of the waitresses were tall on tits but short on brains and usually got the orders wrong; but no one complained, either.) She was sitting on a bar stool laughing and clinging on every word that came out of the mouth of chubby guy everybody called Dino.
They certainly were an odd looking couple, but the set-up was all too familiar. Attractive girl, ugly guy. That’s nearly every porn movie produced since the move to direct to video release. Dino, among other things, was a fairly successful bookie. He also had a decent business trafficking – small stolen items, ripped DVDs, weed, pills, and coke. Most of the time when I saw him, he either one of the three cell phones he carried or he was running out to take care of short errands. His seat was always saved. He talked big and always had a wad of cash. He knew everybody and everybody knew him. He looked like every other fat ugly fucker who walked in the bar. Except for certain times, like Friday and Saturday nights, the bar was mostly a sausage fest – lots of unhappily married or miserably divorced men who came in to drink beer and cultivate a deep and abiding misogyny. Dino was no exception. He looked like the rest of us – like he drank too much beer, exercised too little, and didn’t much give a fuck.
“Maybe he’s really a nice guy down deep,” I said.
My new friend chuckled. “Yeah. I’ve seen him go through four or five different girls.” He took a drink. “And they ALL looked like her. And they all got dumped when he got tired of them.”
“Some women enjoy punishment,” I suggested. “Maybe she thinks she’s going to change him.”
He almost choked on his beer. “Punishment,” he repeated. “Yeah, I guess that’s it.”
He chit chatted some more while I sat and focused on my beer. Mostly he talked about the girl. Poor asshole, I thought. Maybe if he had a thicker wallet. When I emptied the glass, a fresh beer was already laid in its place. Things were busy, but not too busy. The usual mid-week crowd. He went on about Dino, about the girl. I couldn’t tell who he was more intrigued by as he talked. Sometimes he’d stop mid-sentence and just watch the two of them laughing and talking to everybody else. I was surprised that neither one of them said anything to him about. When he finished his beer, my new talkative friend left. Thank Christ, I thought. It’s one thing to notice odd happenings in a public place; it’s another thing entirely when you sit and talk about somebody when they’re within earshot. I was glad he didn’t ask me my name; that way I could act like I didn’t remember him the next time I saw him.
There was a game on the television above the bar – women’s baseball – and I got involved with that for several innings. Sometimes during commercials my eyes would drift over to Dino and his girl. She giggled a lot, picked bites from his hamburger and fries like a little bird, and sucked down long island ice teas. Dino stepped out sometimes to take phone calls, or to smoke a cigarette, and unless she followed him out to smoke, she simply sat and stared into her drink or talked to the bartender until Dino came back. Then Dino came back and she immediately started smiling and laughing and rubbing up on him like somebody flipped a switch on her back or something. Her smile widened when he pulled a long jewelry box out of his pocket and gave it to her. She clapped with glee and hugged him again, pushing herself right up on him. Dino must’ve caught me watching, because he looked me straight in the face, smiled, then reached over and gently squeezed her left tit. She sighed and giggled, then leaned over and whispered something in his ear. One of her hands ran down his leg.
They both finished their drinks quickly and he told her it was time to leave. He called her by name – Izzy. Izzy and Dino, I thought. Dino and Izzy. They stood up and left, holding onto one another. My buddy shook his head, drained his beer, and put cash down on the bar to pay his tab. “That guy,” he said, “gives fat bastards everywhere hope.” A couple of the regulars chuckled in agreement. The fast pitch game was going into overtime and I didn’t want to spend my hard earned forty bucks getting drunk. I finished my beer, paid, and left.
I was back at the bar the next day. I managed to set aside enough money for another week’s rent, and with one more short term goal accomplished, I felt like celebrating. But it was a slow day at the MTP. Nothing worth watching any of the 60 TV screens. Suzy, the pregnant bartender, wasn’t in a good mood. Adele’s nagging and nasal tone carried into the bar from the kitchen, where she was undoubtedly trying to shove another menu change down the cook’s throat. When Dino strutted in, I was almost glad to see him. His presence at the bar provided a sorely needed consistency that the place was lacking. He sat down and the chick behind the bar brought him a drink. He didn’t say much. No one seemed to mind.
A few minutes later, Adele came out of the kitchen. She was wearing the large sunglasses that covered most of her face. She stopped by Dino.
“Hey.” Her tone was sharp. “When are you gonna pay your tab?”
He shrugged. “When are you going to pay YOURS?” He sniffed and rubbed the end of his nose.
Adele shook her head. “Asshole,” she muttered and walked away.
Dino took a substantial gulp from his drink. “Cunt,” he shook his head and chuckled. The bartender didn’t say anything. No one at the bar said anything, either. Adele walked back by on her way back to the office. She didn’t say anything to anyone.
Izzy walked in and sat down on the stool next to his. She looked tired. There were dark circles under her eyes. Suzy brought her a long island iced tea. Dino ignored her because he was watching the baseball game and checking scores on his cellphone every couple of minutes. The Mets were losing. I couldn’t tell if that was what he wanted or not. Izzy tried to get his attention, but he waved her off. Then one of his other phones rang and he stepped outside to answer it, leaving her at the bar with her long island iced tea. She focused on her drink and didn’t talk to anybody, including the bartender, who was filing her nails and ignoring the growing collection of dirty glasses. Before Dino wandered back in, Adele came out of the office and approached the bar. “Suzy,” she spoke to the bartender. “Don’t serve that asshole anymore. Not until he pays up. This isn’t a fucking charity.” She turned and walked back to the office before Dino got back to the bar. He didn’t look very happy. He drained his drink and indicated that he wanted another. She waddled over and told him she wasn’t allowed to serve him anymore.
“What do you mean, you’re ‘not allowed.’? Get me another drink.”
“She said you gotta pay your tab first.”
“What? Are you serious? Are you fucking serious? Are you fucking with me?”
The bartender repeated herself like she was replaying a prerecorded message.
Dino looked over at Izzy, who was just sitting there staring off into space. Then he looked over at me. “What the fuck is YOU staring at, asshole?”
I shrugged and started watching the television above the bar. Dino picked up what was left of Izzy’s drink and drained the glass. Then he looked at here. “We’re going,” he said. Then he looked at Suzy. “Tell her I’ll be back. I’ll be back to settle up.” He leaned over and whispered something in her ear. She shook her head. He took hold of her hand, grinned, and whispered in her ear again. She shook her head again. Then he reached over, caressed her face, taking special care around her lips. Then he whispered in her ear again – this time it was something that made her eyes go out of focus. She didn’t say anything back. Then one of Dino’s phones went off and walked out alone, leaving her there.
Izzy looked around the bar. She noticed me, smiled a sad smile that was too far gone to be sexy. I looked over at the door, and wondered whatever happened to that poor bastard who had been so in love with her. I left some cash on the bar, drained my beer, and left without making any eye contact.
